Help for Those Suffering Loss and Grief

Probably the last thing you feel like doing right now is taking good care of yourself. But maybe you have others depending on you? Maybe you still have a job to hold down? Then you are going to need as much energy, motivation and health as you can get hold of just to get through each day.

Here are 7 tips for caring for yourself during your time of crisis, loss and grief

1. Take care of your body.

This requires both the right food and the right exercise. Eat as close to nature as possible, cutting out the processed foods. Small serves of protein three times a day to combat fatigue and if life is stressful for you at the moment, cut out stimulants such as alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and sugar (nicotine may be the hardest so start with the other three)

(For lots more information in this area go to my website www.secretstoemotionalhealth.com sign in, and you will be taken to a camtasia that will show you how to “Supercharge Your Energy and Your Life”)

2. Take care of your fitness.

Amazing things happen biochemically when we exercise – we produce good chemicals, such as endorphins and serotonin, and get rid of “bad” chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol. Just 30 – 40 minutes of exercise at 60 – 80% of your heart rate will do the trick

3. Deposit into a “support account”.

Research indicates that people recover from crisis or trauma better when they have psychological and practical support around them. Isn’t this the basis of our peer support programs? New research (Dan Beuttner “The Blue Zones” www.bluezones.com) now shows us that belonging to a community or family that gives and receives love and support actually contributes to longevity and vitality. If you have not been born into this sort of network, you will need to cultivate it and develop supportive networks so that when you need someone to listen to you, a listening ear will be available

4. Tune in to the power of purpose.

Dan Beuttner’s research has shown a number of factors that contribute to longevity and vitality. He found 4 areas around the world where higher percentage than normal, live to over 100 years. We have mentioned three of these important factors already: eat food close to nature, keep moving, give and receive love and affection and the final one is have a sense of purpose. Life purpose gets us up in the morning. It motivates us to press forward and do the best we can. In fact just having a job to get up to, helps us live longer than those who don’t. If you want to explore this spiritual aspect further I’d suggest Rick Warren’s book “Purpose Driven Life” www.purposedrivenlife.com

5. Unblock your mental and emotional blockages to health and success.

Our brain works with our thoughts and feelings on two different layers or levels, the conscious and the subconscious. The accepted belief is that only 10% of our mind is the conscious brain. Our thoughts, feelings and senses are greatly influenced by our subconscious. The subconscious is thought to make up 90% of our mind. Did you know that it is generally accepted that success is 90% determined by the mind and only 10% by the actions we perform. At this point we might start to realize the huge effect the mind with its thoughts and emotions, has on the outcome for our life.

When suffering loss and grief it is possible to experience emotional and mental blockages that stop you from healing. My book “Thriving Not Just Surviving a Life Crisis” www.thrivingalifecrisis.com has been written to help people just like you, overcome these painful blockages. Everything in this book was used by me during and after my personal life crisis.

6. Recognize and when necessary deal with your emotions

Did you realize that negative emotions can make you sick and keep you locked into the past? Yet positive emotions are synonymous with good health and success. Although we need to feel our emotions, they are not meant to control us. Take notice of them and deal with the situations that may be causing negative emotions. One way to do this is:

7. Keep a personal journal

Journaling has a number of benefits including:

* a cathartic experience that allows you to experience and release emotions
* the opportunity to concretize your thoughts and allow you to hopefully make more informed decisions.

Just try to implement even one of these things this week and hopefully it will help you feel that little bit stronger.

Until next week

Julie

Let’s face it – generally, we are not that good at caring for ourselves! Others maybe, but often when it comes to our own well being, we run out of time, energy and resources.

When faced with crisis it can be even more important to care for ourselves but yes, it is difficult when loss and grief seems to overwhelm everything else.

During a time of personal crisis (my divorce), I did something that is probably exactly the opposite of what most people do during crisis – I started a program of determined self care and balance. I had a deep drive motivating me – to take responsibility for my children and knew, that there was really only one way for me to achieve this – I had to put into myself so that I could achieve the goals I had set myself – to take care of my children and build a new life better than the old. I found the time and resources to exercise, eat correctly, find emotional and practical support and yes, even have fun.

Think of a balance wheel made up of your five parts – emotional, physical, mental, spiritual and relationship (includes personal and work) and ask yourself the question “Where does most of my finite daily supply of energy go? Many people will answer that nearly 80% of their daily energy supply goes into the work section. Of course, this only leaves 20% to deal with all other areas of your life! No wonder we hear people say things like – “I feel so overwhelmed”, “There is never enough time in the day”, “I’m not sure if I can keep going”. Maybe these are the sorts of things that you are saying to yourself?

When faced with a crisis situation, we are naturally very emotional and these emotions drain us of much needed energy to carry on with the many things that need doing.

Next, post I will go into some very simple and important things that you can be doing to keep yourself as fit and able as possible but for now I think one of the most important points is simply to be kind to yourself. Realize that you have been through something very difficult and it will take some time to recover.

Be kind to yourself and don’t expect too much of yourself

If you have any comments or questions just use the “comments” link

Until next time

Julie Spain